My own Overheard in the Newsroom

Me: "So are you excited about reading 80 inches on domestic violence?"

Editor, who normally works the night desk so he reads all my stuff, but is subbing in for our features editor so he isn't doing that this week: "Is that running this week, so I won't have to read it?"

Me: "No, next week, succcccccker."

Editor: "Can't you write about something happy?"

Me: "I don't do happy."